Two of my boys are asleep on the couch. It's a deep sleep that they both need. We had a rough night last night- ended up back at the ER to have Brad's incision checked. It is a good thing we went and I'm thankful we have the friends to nudge us into the right decisions. Why is it so different when it is happening to you instead of someone else? I would have easily been examining a wound on someone else and offering advice like it was a conversation about the weather. No problem. But when it is US and MY husband things get blurry. Am I being too cautious, not cautious enough, what could I have done differently, why didn't I act at the first flutter of knowing something wasn't right?
I have great instincts and I also believe I have a gift to really hear from God when something isn't right. I've experienced it many many times but it seems I haven't trusted that voice enough to get some action going. I let doubt and fear of being wrong cloud my thoughts. I don't want to make a big deal out of nothing so I push down the sense and keep on trucking. How many times does it take before I really hear and choose to believe it IS God speaking to me? How many times will I get burned before I trust that my sense of the situation or the person or the place was not only accurate but dead on? I pray for the wisdom to distinguish between the voice of my own thoughts and the voice of God. I pray for the boldness to act without fear of what others might think. I also pray that when others are in situations like this I can be a gentle yet assuring voice- not to condemn or criticise but lift up and encourage- and nudge in the right direction. Just like Harry & Debra did for us- once again-
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One of these days we'll look back on all this and laugh at some of the crazy things that have happened through out this experience. But not today. You know I'm here for you, but you're doing a darn good job taking care of things yourself.
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