Things My Mother Has Taught Me

In no particular order....
#1. Never return a pan empty.
#2. Babies should nap in their beds.
#3. Wear shoes during a thunderstorm.
#4. Rats make nests in messy drawers.
#5. Always run a sink of soapy water when you're cooking.
#6. Always ask yourself "what would Grandmama think..."
#7. You just feel better when the refrigerator is cleaned out.
#8. Downsize leftovers frequently. (must be tied to #7)
#9. Red fingernail polish makes people think you are a floosy (aka- a Jezebel).
#10. Never. Never whisper in public. Never.
#11. Don't call people after 10 pm.
#12. Watch who brings in what food at a covered dish party.
#13. Your jewelry pieces should never add up to more than 10. Each earring counts separately.
#14. Your hose should never be darker than your shoes.
#15. Floss.
#16. Gargling with warm salt water solves a myriad of problems.
#17. Underwear should be white cotton.
#18. Cake in milk is a perfectly acceptable breakfast choice.
#19. Garages are for your cars- not your junk.
#20. Make your bed.
#21. ASDFJKL;

Simply for Grandmamas entertainment---Andy wanted to add the things he has learned-
"I have air coming out my pants!"
"We gotta put clothes on when we get home- you naked people."

Happy birthday Mother!!!